“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived”. – Henry David Thoreau, Walden
The Authentic Self: What is it?
Source: Nischwitz Group
Being and expressing yourself are commonly used phrases which seem simple and obvious: Do what you want to do. However, humans are social animals, dependent on diverse social relationships. Each type of relationship often invokes a separate and distinct version of yourself (i.e. relationship with parents, coworkers, significant other, etc.).
These different forms of the self can confuse you and make it difficult to define your authentic self. Additionally, each of these relationships have influence over your thoughts, ideas, behavior, etc. Furthermore, societal influences are constantly infiltrating your consciousness in different ways.
The authentic self is a direct reflection of your deepest thoughts, ideas, behaviors, and emotions. It is who you are at your core. Sounds simple right? Actually, for many people it is quite difficult to get to the bottom of who they truly are, myself included. Many factors are responsible for burying your authentic self and it can be quite a difficult task to uncover.
Discovering Your Authentic Self
Utilizing Free Thought
How often have you sincerely asked yourself about your opinions on important topics? Yes, thoughts stop by here and there, but it is likely a rare occasion when you spend time examining your deeply held core beliefs and opinions. These opinions are what makes you, YOU! Taking time to hash them out will allow you to refocus and get you on a path towards the best version of yourself.
An understanding of reality is a crucial step to defining your authentic self. Understanding the truth is important because misinformation is everywhere, now more than ever. Otherwise your honest opinions are based on a false sense of reality. An honest assessment of your true opinions and beliefs is difficult to achieve. A conscious emphasis on free thought allows you to consistently reevaluate your authentic self and use that knowledge to actively impact present behavior and states of mind.
Analysis
When you are able to spend time on assessing your true thoughts and emotions, it can be eye-opening. You may find serious inconsistencies between what you believe and how you act. Have you been approaching life with a goal to be acquiring a significant salary in finance, only to find that in truth, that actually doesn’t reflect your true ambitions? It may in fact be a result of your social and cultural upbringing instead. Tapping into your original and free thoughts may show you ways you’re currently living that contradict your beliefs, causing you pain and discomfort. Take time to criticize and analyze this relationship between deep beliefs and current behavior.
Recalling specific moments in your life help to identify the present state of your authentic self. Memories often help to tell a more significant story. How did you act, what did you say? These memories help to highlight your firm beliefs. A proud memory may showcase behavior you believe to be the core of who you are, while regretful moments might remind you of habits or actions that you want to work on. By recalling these memories with a different frame of reference, you may find valuable information about yourself that you hadn’t thought of before.
Applying Your Authentic Self
Once you have established a solid foundation of authentic self, make sure to write it down! Having a well thought out vision of your authentic self is useful, especially because you can get scattered and lose yourself. Keep it in a journal and continuously add and amend it as things change. Come back to it when in need of inspiration and reassurance.
Take Action!
Now you have written your convictions and affirm your authentic self, it is time to put it into practice. Before you were able to define your true authentic self, you were adapting your thought and behavior to your environment. Instead, now that you know and are comfortable with your authentic self, you can alter your environment to properly suit you. Instead of jobs, relationships, and life filled with discomfort, you begin to attract jobs and relationships that are compatible with your authentic self, resulting in a more fulfilling life.
Disclaimer – This Is Hard
This process may seem simple and straightforward. This is actually very complicated and difficult; not only to piece together who you are, but then to alter your behavior. Part of why I am writing this now is because I am struggling to do this myself. One obstacle I consistently come upon is my compulsive need to refine and establish my career interests and goals. The problem is, I have so many interests! I have found that simplifying it down to questions like: What do I get excited about? When do I pop out of bed? When do I feel genuine satisfaction? These questions lead to answers about who I am and what I enjoy doing.
“In life, the default outcome is not that we act in our self-interest but that we change ourselves to meet the needs of the games we are taught to play”. – Raul Martinez, Creating Freedom
This quote is one of my favorites, and one that I’d like to read on a daily basis. Expressing your authentic self is HARD, but it is something that is worthwhile. This doesn’t mean an endorsement of reckless or wild behavior. It means living a life that makes you feel comfortable with who you are.
I hope you enjoyed this blog. I’m hopefully back to writing blogs for The Inspire Wire much more frequently! I have a lot of inspiration to share and things to cover! Stay tuned! For more inspiration on authentic self see the links below. Thanks!
Episode 9: Thoughts on Gap Years, Giving Your Mind a Break, (First Solo Episode!
https://lifehacker.com/how-to-discover-your-authentic-self-and-live-the-life-1698115144
Episode 23: Purpose, Identity, Self; Inspiration from True Detective and Fight Club
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200805/dare-be-yourself